My Son’s Study Aboard Journey: Letting Go and Leaning In
It’s been just over a month since my son left for Spain to study abroad for the semester. I’m feeling everything at once—proud, happy, anxious, excited, nervous, hopeful, entertained, and, if I’m being honest, a little bit sad.
I came across the most staggering statistic recently: 90% of the time we spend with our children happens before they turn 18. After that, our time together dwindles significantly. That was both a reality check and a heart check. It made me realize that, for the most part, our work as parents is done. Now, our role shifts from shaping their lives to supporting them as they shape their own—even when that means seeing them less or when empty nesting gets difficult.
When He First Brought Up Studying Abroad
When my son first mentioned studying abroad over a year ago, I had no idea what to expect. I never did anything like this at his age. Sure, there were opportunities, but fear often took the driver’s seat in my life, and I said “no” before I ever considered a “yes.” So his excitement about such a big adventure was both thrilling and terrifying for me.
I didn’t want my own fears to hold him back, so I threw myself into the process.
I joined every parent group I could find. I researched the school, read everything I could about the city, and asked an overwhelming number of questions. Was it safe? Would his credits transfer? Could we afford it? Would he have friends there? What if he wasn’t fluent in the language?
On and on and on.
Stepping Back and Letting Him Lead
One of the best decisions I made was letting him take the lead. I figured if he was serious about studying abroad, he would put in the work to make it happen. And he did.
He handled the research, the applications, the visa process, and class registration. He sent me emails when something was relevant for me, but otherwise, he owned the process. That’s when I knew this wasn’t just an idea—he was actually going to do it.
Full disclosure: my anxiety was through the roof during this stage. My brain was playing a never-ending loop of “what ifs”—expenses, flights, homesickness, actual sickness, cultural differences, flight delays, his living situation, even his hair (yes, I worried about that too). But my husband and I came to a realization (me, much later than him): opportunities like this don’t come often. If he was willing to take it, we needed to support it.
Getting Through Anticipation
In the months leading up to his departure, I spent way too much time scrolling through social media groups for parents of study-abroad students. While they were helpful in some ways, they also became a source of unnecessary stress. Eventually, I decided to use them strictly as a tool—grabbing packing lists and logistical advice but leaving behind the flood of opinions.
As we checked off each item on his to-do list (copies of every imaginable document, the right bank account for foreign transactions, AirTags, adapters, the perfect carry-on for weekend trips), I felt a little more at ease. Prepared, even.
Still, I couldn’t help but wonder—how did students do this in the ’90s? No smartphones, no internet, no instant messaging. It’s wild to think about.
Life Abroad
Now, he’s in Barcelona. Once the honeymoon phase faded, exhaustion set in, and the weight of cultural adjustments hit, there were moments of homesickness, sadness, and maybe even a tinge of regret. But we knew he’d figure it out—because he’s resilient. And sure enough, before long, he started embracing this once-in-a-lifetime experience.
I’m incredibly proud of him. But I’m also proud of myself—for not letting my own anxieties stand in the way of his dreams.
Looking Ahead
In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more—his incredible study abroad adventures, the practical lessons I’ve learned as a parent (in case you ever find yourself in this situation), and perhaps the most exciting part…my upcoming trip to Barcelona to visit him! Stay tuned!
